Welcome to Slapdash Mama. This is where I vent my spleen.
Life coach, marriage counsellor, fashion icon, famous wit - I am none of these things. I am however a dedicated working mother and hot trophy wife. My hobbies include hurling abuse at the television, comfort eating and having a good lie down.
I am very high brow and intellectual. I enjoy reading Shakespeare, Plato, watching nature documentaries and making farting sounds with my armpit.
Join me. It's the best thing you'll ever do. But don't just take my word for it - behold, my testimonials. TESTIFY! "Sarah is really improving, and she posts so REGULARLY", my Mum, March 2013.
"What's a blog?" my Dad, April 2013.
"Sarah is the voice of a generation. Also she is practically a saint", Pope Francis, January 2013.
"I have never met a funnier or more attractive person in my whole life", Some guy down at the shops last week.